Uncategorized Archives - Making Life More Wonderful

NVC and the enneagram – layers of needs

Julie — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 23:12:01 +0000

My old article from 5 years ago is here: “False” needs? Enneagram and NVC. I’ve now used AI to flesh out my thinking, and this is the result. NVC treats needs as always valid, which is correct – at the core level. But Enneagram adds the idea that for each type, there’s usually: The relief […]

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NVC and nervous system awareness

Julie — Sun, 08 Mar 2026 21:51:16 +0000

Maps NVC with Jaak Panksepp’s emotions taxonomy, and Sarah Peyton’s work on the Seeking circuit, and Tracy Baker-Lawrence’s work on enneagram pathways. I’ve come to understand conflict as something that begins when one of the three core aversive emotions common to all mammals is triggered: fear, anger, or distress. In Jaak Panksepp’s affective neuroscience research […]

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I’ll Cooperate But Only On My Terms

Julie — Mon, 01 Nov 2021 03:31:35 +0000

Guest post by Susanne Engelhard So this is the thing about cooperation. You can’t force it. It’s annoying right? There would be so much less sibling fighting…if only they would just cooperate. There is housework to be done and it would get done so quickly…if only the rest of the family would cooperate. You have ideas that you […]

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Sacred contract

Julie — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 01:30:39 +0000

This process comes from the amazing Sarah Peyton

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“Demand” doesn’t work

Julie — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 17:30:29 +0000

We get trained as kids to make demands, because it’s what our parents do with us … if we don’t do as we’re told, they demand that we do, using all sorts of “power over” techniques. And so that’s what we learn to do as well. If someone else isn’t doing what we what, or […]

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“False” needs? Enneagram and NVC

Julie — Fri, 12 Mar 2021 05:44:33 +0000

My sister Tracy Baker-Lawrence is an Enneagram expert. The Enneagram can be categorized as a personality typing tool, but it’s much deeper than that. It tells us what our core “mistaken thought” is, and how that drives everything we do. Tracy and I have often talked about how it seems that each personality “type” (there […]

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Gratitude

Julie — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 21:16:58 +0000

According to positive psychology research, the practice that most contributes to our well-being is daily gratitude. And what is gratitude? Gratitude is, simply, noticing that our needs have been met We constantly have needs being met without even noticing it. How often do you take the time to actually notice and appreciate the air that […]

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Connected Conversations

Julie — Thu, 04 Feb 2021 08:36:10 +0000

So, you’ve unpacked your own needs, and made guesses about what theirs might be. Most often, I find that my needs have very little to do with the other person in the situation after all! So my way to move forward doesn’t necessarily involve speaking with them about the incident. Sometimes though, we want to […]

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Life is 100% safe, 99.99% of the time

Julie — Mon, 21 Sep 2020 19:49:41 +0000

I had an epiphany [a life-changing idea] a while back. I was sitting in my lounge room, feeling a little stressed, thinking I should be doing housework. It occurred to me to wonder WHY I was thinking that – what did I hope to get out of it? Hmm. Perhaps to avoid shame? So that […]

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Resources for eCourse

Julie — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:09:08 +0000

JustNeeds JustFeelings

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