Edit:
For my own OFNF reflection / process, I have used the online tool for the past two days. I noticed that with the online tool, the questions are “What are your feelings / needs RIGHT NOW regarding the situation?” I have been quite shocked to discover how intense the feelings are alive in me when I’m recalling and writing about the incidents, a few which have been from a couple of days before. (e.g. Sunday I processed a Friday event, Monday I processed a Tuesday event). I have also been unprepared for the pain / sorrow / grief and mourning that has come.
Today I used the PDF worksheet, which flowed pretty freely. It was for a smaller incident, yet again once I unpacked it, there was a lot going on. I am relieved to be taking the time to process these things (to reframe them, relieve some bottled-up angst) and start to realise how I can give myself some empathy as I see the deeper needs underlying my feelings & actions.

In this example above, I find it helpful to see the example of your request to yourself:
a. Phrasing “Am I willing to ABC?”
b. Identifying objections (e.g. hesitant)
c. Listing an option for strategy e.g. Perhaps ask Lucie

Thanks Mathilda!!

Yes, me too. And yeah, Focusing is quite similar to Internal Family Systems, but I think they arose independently of each other. I LOVE the labels that come from IFS, but I prefer Focusing’s tendency to be WITH everything that arises, whereas in IFS you can ask parts to “stand aside”, i.e. you kinda negotiate with them. In Focusing, the emphasis is very much on simple empathy and being with, acceptance.

Thanks Leanne. Oddly enough I’ve always found breathing-type stuff to make me worse! I think maybe because it makes me feel stuff *more*? Anyway … I’m currently working on a list of suggestions to add here, I plan to add them soon.

God, it’s exhausting, isn’t it? That was my experience too – a mixture of yelling and withdrawing. I had to use SO much self control, and when that ran out, the yelling was my only option left.