Finding Strategies process Need What brings you to this process today? What's going on? If you're not sure, use the Find Peace tool first to work out what your need is. Choose a specific need to work on. (TO DO: LINK TO needs list) Drilling down Does the phrase "Every cell in my body is longing for [the need]" almost bring you to tears? Or does it make you feel self-righteous? If the latter, there's probably a deeper, softer, more vulnerable need underneath the one you're working with, and you'll probably have a lot more forward movement if you find out what that is. To do that, consider these questions. If that need was met, then what would you have? Does what you've just written indicate a specific, deeper need? If so, use that need for this process instead. ... First, "meet" the need, as in meeting a friend ... Need NOT met List some incidents when this need was not met How did you feel when the need was not met? Add stuff about mourning that unmet need - feel the sadness, have hope etc. Maybe link to Mourning form? Need met List some ways these need has EVER been met, even if only a little How did you feel when the need was met? Demands Every type of need can be met in a zillion possible ways, but we often feel it has to be met in a specific way - with a particular person, at a particular time, in a particular location. It can be useful to see the ways we're demanding it must be met, so that we can open up to new and better strategies that might actually work. Do you have some internal demands about HOW that need MUST be met (eg my HUSBAND must love me right NOW, my BOSS must understand me) Do you have stories about how that need is NEVER met Indifference, resignation, acceptance ... mourning ... Can you, in your wildest imagination (forgetting reality) imagine what it would take to meet that need? What strategies might other people use to meet this need for themselves? List possible strategies If you choose one of those, are there other needs that DOESn'T meet? Choose one of the strategies to try out in the next few days. Think of it like an experiment - will this work for me? If it involves asking someone else to help meet the need, please read the Requests page first.
