I find the 4 steps of OFNR – Observation, Feelings, Needs, Request – to be an amazing tool, because we can use the same 4 steps both internally, to guide our thinking, and externally, to guide our words, and also we can apply it both ourselves, and to others.
- as an internal process, working out what’s going on in me
- as an internal process, making guesses about what’s going on for the other person
- to guide our words when we’re making guesses about where the other person is at (empathy)
- to guide our words when we’re expressing what’s going on in us (honesty)
Below, I’ve tried to give examples of what that might look like.