OFNR is a multi-tool

I find the 4 steps of OFNR – Observation, Feelings, Needs, Request – to be an amazing tool, because we can use the same 4 steps both internally, to guide our thinking, and externally, to guide our words, and also we can apply it both ourselves, and to others.

  • as an internal process, working out what’s going on in me
  • as an internal process, making guesses about what’s going on for the other person
  • to guide our words when we’re making guesses about where the other person is at (empathy)
  • to guide our words when we’re expressing what’s going on in us (honesty)

Below, I’ve tried to give examples of what that might look like.

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